“We’ve finally found someone in the family who talks more than you,” Marty said. I wondered if this was a compliment from my former husband or an insult as our three-year-old granddaughter chattered in the background. Well, anyone who knows our loving relationship and how much he adores his granddaughter also knows he spoke his words with an endearing touch. But it still got me thinking.
It’s true. My granddaughter and I have lots to say, and we rarely stay quiet. And yet, this was not the case a few months ago, when I had great difficulty speaking during my fling with Covid and several weeks beyond. It was a scary time to realize that while air escaped me, my vocal cords strained, and little sound came out. Sometimes my voice was there; other times, it vanished.
I chalked it up to overwhelming fatigue until recently when I learned of another author’s struggle to speak while battling an infection. I related. Then he reported that with his intermittent inability to speak, he also lost his ability to have things to talk about or write about. To this, I also related. I understood so perfectly it caused an epiphany. Now that I was better, it was time to speak up and speak out. It was time to once again relay what was on my mind.
But unfortunately, my mind stood quiet. More than usual. Very few thoughts danced in my head, waiting to become embellished fiction. Even fewer realizations came to mind without forced consideration. Yet still, the good news was, I hadn’t lost my knack, but I did fail to hear my inner whisper. Perhaps when I lost my voice, creativity lost hers, too. So, there I was, waiting for inspiration to find me. Aw, poor me. No stories, few articles, and nothing to speak of.
Until now!
What changed?
It helped to hear that someone else felt it too. Knowing I wasn’t alone. Affirming what I felt was real, and with this validation came strength. What kindness I couldn’t show myself, I offered to him. Only he doesn’t know. I’ve kept my silence to myself. I didn’t want to complain about what I went through, especially now that I’ve physically healed. But through his disclosure, I now see how much I don’t want him to hurt or falter. I then recognized it was time to show myself the same kindness.
These past weeks, I’ve enjoyed immersing myself in things that have brought me joy. One week, I went to a book signing with an author I truly admire and last week, I went to my grandson’s first birthday party. They say if you want to write, you’ve got to read. I add another dimension to this adage. It’s if you want to write, you’ve got to live. Then shout it out to the world.
So, that’s what I plan to do. I feel my inspiration returning.
Hooray!
My long Covid symptom of intermittent silence has now disappeared, and with it, I’ve found my voice in more ways than one.
Here is a story from this past month for your enjoyment. Stay tuned for more of my work in the coming months.
Twenty fascinating things I learned in 2022
Time has passed quickly, and as we hunker down this chilly weekend, I wish everyone a Happy Holiday.
See you next month.