Let’s talk about resilience. Describing me in the past, I was anything but. Or was I? Maybe I’ve always been but didn’t know. Life is a game of dodgeball. We’re forever darting obstacles until one of them hits — hard. Before, I’ve buckled. In recent years, not so much.
So, what’s changed?
With all things considered, it must be me.
While outside factors try their darndest to convince us they’re what ails us, training has taught me this isn’t the case. How we feel about situations is internal; how we maintain our emotional state — good or bad — comes from within. Needing to blame someone or something is human, but it’s disempowering. Once I came to this understanding, dealing with overwhelm became doable, even inspiring.
Since the end of 2019, my resilience has been tested time and time again. If you had asked me whether I could withstand the intensity, I’d have sold myself short, yet here I am, still standing. And not only on solid legs bearing the heaviness that adversity brings but with a grateful heart that recognizes I have much to be thankful for.
Our beloved cat went to the vet last night to visit the rainbow bridge because of kidney disease. Questioning whether this was the right time was daunting; the sadness was beyond comfort, yet I knew I would get through this with the similar courage I’ve mustered these past years. Because what are the other options?
I’ve lived a life before in the dark places of my soul. I’ve gone into depths where I felt there was no return, but that’s no longer an option. I have a greater understanding that while sad and frustrating things happen, they are tests given to test our strengths. It’s not about the adage that God gives us what we can handle. I think that’s insulting to those suffering more than anyone should bear, but through all I’ve encountered these past years, I love myself more than ever through my resilience.
I’m no longer the fragile mind that crumbles behind the walls of overwhelm. At least not yet. So, bring on adversity, and I will counter with fortitude. I’m not ready to go back to the cellar of defeat. I am strong. My inner voice guides me outside of what’s occurring around me.
This is a new version of myself, and get used to her. She’s here to stay.
I’m still going strong with Keeley Schroder’s monthly challenges, which keep me writing daily to her prompts.
I wish his parents had educated me.
If you’re interested in humour, get a load of this.
All it takes is a stomach cramp to mess up your day.
I’m grateful to all of you for sharing in my joy of writing.
See you next month.